do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
