how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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