yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
