oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
handjob tips. give me some.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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