i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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