Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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