I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
