see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
