week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
