your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"