I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.