Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.