Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant