so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
