I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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