I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize