Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just tell him i said nine months
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
