Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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