I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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