Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am one with the molecules
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
