Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
