Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
