David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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