Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
