I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My balls are so social today.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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