why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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