two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
