they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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