he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
