Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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