Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
