he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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