went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
