the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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