I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize