No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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