Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
