Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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