Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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