I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
