shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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