im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
