At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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