Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
