Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
