I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A bitchslap is in order.
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