ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
