Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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