come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
