why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
