Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
