YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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