apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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