so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
