u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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