My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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