I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
