I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Randomize
