Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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