Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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