The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize