the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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