Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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