Already got asked if we're dating
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
