I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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