i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
