somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Vodka?
Forever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
