i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
