During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
