Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
