dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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