Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
