nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
